With the global financial collapse, there is no shortage of dumb business decisions.  Fortune Magazine lists the dumbest moments in business so far in 2009.

Near the top of the list is Tropicana’s orange juice carton redesign.  It turns out that Tropicana drinkers are as passionate about packaging as they are about pulp.  So they rebelled when parent company PepsiCo and consultancy Arnell overhauled the juice line’s packaging in January as part of a $35 million branding campaign called "Squeeze."

Tropicana fans said the simplicity of the new design reminded them of store-brand generics.  And who wants to be mistaken for a generic consumer, especially when paying the higher Tropicana prices?  Within a month, the public’s flogging by e-mail, phone, and blogs forced PepsiCo to bring back the old straw-in-an-orange cartons.  Other parts of the campaign remain, but PepsiCo will probably think twice before it tries updating this icon again.

Dumbest Moments in Business

TheDailyWTF describes how poor database design and user error bankrupted a small chain of pet stores.

“MegaPetCo” was upset that its website ran incredibly slow.  Consultant Rick discovered MegaPetCo was using a single shared database for its website and everything else in its business — sales, payroll, HR, inventory, tax records, invoices and maintenance tickets.  The database was incredibly simple: a single table with hundreds of columns.  It probably had humble beginnings as a spreadsheet and organically grew into a vast monolith over the seven years that MegaPetCo was in business.  All told, the database had millions of rows in a single table.

Then one day a developer was optimizing the database and removing records that MegaPetCo no longer needed.  All it took was a single, poorly-formed delete query to wipe out each and every row in the database table.  MegaPetCo’s sales immediately ground to a halt, along with everything else in the company.  And of course — you guessed it — there were no backups.

Within a few months, the company filed for bankruptcy and was forced to close every one of its stores, laying off several hundred people along the way.

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This animated image makes me ache just watching it.

So are the Iranian leaders stupid or just getting lazy?  They didn’t even bother to count the votes, as they announced the winner of the recent Iranian presidential election — in which 36 million people voted — less than two hours after the polls closed.  Any idiot knows it takes more than two hours to count 36 million of anything.

Let’s hope that someday the theocratic dictatorship in Iran (and many other countries) go the way of the dodo and becomes extinct. 

Here’s one method of birth control.  If you survive the initial missile strike, you surely won’t have any kids.

WARNING:  Strong, adult language!

FIREWORK NUTSHOT FAIL - Watch more Funny Videos

The Web and its instant access to information has made things easier for everyone.  Unfortunately, some of the information on the Web is incredibly dangerous, and some of the websites that shares this information appear to be aimed at exactly the type of people you wouldn’t want to have this information.  So Cracked.com has compiled a list of 10 things found on the Web that will almost certainly end badly.

For example, #7 is “The Secret Art of Stunt Driving — All The Insider Tricks of Driving at the Edge.”  This book wasn’t written for "seasoned" stunt drivers; it was written so the average teenager could perform 360 degree turns at 100 mph!  So the next time you find yourself facing down a teenager tumbling toward you inside a chunk of flaming mini-van, don’t forget to quietly thank the book’s author.

10 Things That Will Not End Well

Everyone knows that California, the fifth largest economy in the world, is nearly financially bankrupt (some would argue it’s also morally bankrupt, but that’s a topic for another discussion).  This is a classic case of painting yourself into a corner.  Years of irresponsible spending by the legislature, plus a refusal by citizens to raise taxes to pay for this spending, results in a state that’s unwilling or incapable of balancing its own budget.  And in tune with our “new America,” Californians are looking for Uncle Sam to bail them out of their own mess.  But isn’t that like pouring water into a bucket with a large hole in it?

This photo below captures the essence of Californian irresponsibility and incompetence.  The San Francisco local governments are paying 6-figure-salaries to “transit car cleaners.”  No doubt cleaning cars is a dirty, boring job, but does it require the skills that would accompany a 6-figure salary?  Also notice that 8,000 San Francisco city and county employees earned over $100,000 annually.  Should the rest of America be responsible for subsidizing California’s stupidity?

Most women love pillows, lots of them.  So toss a few of these pillows into your honey’s collection and increase your chances for nookie with a little subliminal suggestion:

Yeah, because nothing gets a woman in the mood like a used condom and a bunch of condom wrappers!

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Last week I purchased a cheeseburger at McDonalds for $1.58.  I handed $2.08 to the young woman behind the counter.  She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while staring blankly at her register.  I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me back two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help.  While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she started crying in frustration.  Why do I tell you this?  Because of the evolution in teaching math in the United States over the past six decades:

Teaching Math in 1959

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.  What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1969

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.  What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1979

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80.  Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1989

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.  Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1999

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.  He does this so he can make a profit of $20.  What do you think of his way of making a living?  Topic for class participation after answering the question:  How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger destroyed their homes?  (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s OK.)

Teaching Math in 2009

Un maderero vende un camión cargado de madera por $100.  Su coste de producción es de $80.  ¿Se obtienen beneficios?

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A Taiwanese groom died on his wedding day after consuming too much wine and beer.

The 35-year-old groom named Wu passed out at home after bingeing Saturday at his wedding reception in a high-end restaurant in Taipei among more than 100 wedding guests.

“Everyone was having a great time,” said party organizer Linda Chien.  “We don’t know what happened after that.”

Wu was rushed to the hospital after his face turned black at home.  A hospital spokeswoman said Wu died despite treatment.

Story at Yahoo News